At a very young age I went through the formalities of the Sinner's Prayer, common in mainstream evangelical circles. Uncertain as to whether it worked I prayed it several more times in my youth. I never was convinced I was bearing the good fruit that is evidence of repentance until my early 20's.

When I'm engaged in constant communion, praise and worship every waking moment I'll claim satisfaction with my Christian walk. My living and work environment in Korea often seems like a dark abyss of godlessness. There can be a heavy sadness that comes from being in constant contact with so many young soldiers, image bearers of God but brazenly holding onto worldy folly. This compels me to dig deeper into my relationship with God to find peace and zeal here at my immediate mission field. Walking with the Lord cannot be taken lightly in this environment.

Dramatically and exponentially. A friend introduced me to reformed theology through the teachings of R.C. Sproul several years ago. I exclaimed something to the effect of, "Aha, I'm not the only evangelical on this planet with a 'crazy' understanding of the gospel."

The ever increasing understanding of His completed work of justice and grace is taking the focus off of myself trying to perform to a more morally upright standard and instead delighting to walk the narrow road of His will, worshipfully, and placing the interest of others above my own, for His name and glory, as my greatest joy.

But it's so easy to slide back into the old habit of "Christian posturing" where I try to appear as though I have it all together. Another reason why I need to be reminded of the Gospel daily.

Right now I'm studying the history of Israel's settlement between Egypt and Mesopotamia, Paul's letters to the church at Corinth and a proverb a day from the wisdom passed through Solomon.

Outside of Scripture I'm currently reading John Piper's Desiring God. Don't ask me why I didn't start with his magnum opus when I first started following his books, blogs and sermons a few years back. I guess I have to be difficult and backwards at times.

My other studies include a history of western civilization textbook and military related knowledge for an upcoming promotion board.

Such a tough question... so many to choose from...

Gideon is the first that comes to mind. I see so many parallels. I see myself having a similiar conversation with God:

"Lord can't I just go back to 'threshing in the winepress' of my hometown where I know everyone is affirming and all my friends agree with my theology? Shouldn't you be looking for someone who's actually brave to handle this task at hand? Wait a second... now you're going to take away most of my support away so I have to have full confidence in You? Okay... if you're really set on using me to make a difference out here send me a specific sign... I meant two signs... I meant three signs... "

Thank God I am not content being single.

God is sovereign. He knows what is best for me and provides what I need as I am in need. He loves me far greater than I could love myself. I rest in knowing this.

With that said, I understand now God's plan for marriage and family as the primary instrument for sanctifying His people. Yes, for people completely committed to ministry, as the apostle Paul was, they need not marry as it could serve as a distraction to such an all consuming ministry. As for the rest of us in the body of Christ, we need to stop toying with and idealizing this sanctification process to the point we've made it almost unapproachable. I desire a marriage that will draw my "messy" self and and an equally flawed woman mutually closer to God through the ministry of family, outreach and exercising the balance of grace and justice to each other.

I'll give you eight:

"studious"

"Barnabas-like qualities"

"selflessness"

"hard-working"

Can be too timid with my convictions

Can be too independent

Can be too assuming

Can overthink an issue to the point of mental gridlock

Well, the questionnaire never asked for only the good qualities.

Giving a gospel-centered education to the next generation. Reading & listening to sermons. Exploring the world by roads less traveled. Waxing theologically with people.

God and His gospel that enables us to praise Him and lead a worshipful life.

Fellow members of the Body of Christ, with all our denominational differences, that nurture, challenge and sharpen us with mutual pruning and watering for spiritual growth.

A world of pain and suffering that gives those who follow Christ ample opportunity to be examples of Christ. (I can't imagine what useful purpose a Christian could have in a utopian society.)

My daughter who is now 18 years old and in college, studying elementary education (a girl following somewhat after my own heart). Taking a 14 year break from military service to move back to my hometown, close to where her and her mother lived, helped me figure out who I am and where my strengths and weaknesses are.

I was in a courtship for a little over a year until this past July, our differences led to a rapid dissipation of the courtship once I left the United States. The greatest difference between us is how we define courtship and decide who to marry. She believes romantic emotions should have the weightiest influence in the decision and I believe wisdom embedded in Scripture and the council of spiritually mature Christians and family members trump emotions in the decision, and strong emotions develop and deepen during the course of a spiritually healthy marriage.

She taught me a lot about healthy communication and deepened my appreciation and respect for people. The experience taught me not to try so hard to make it a match but to better articulate my deeper desires up front.

"I fear that the cross, without ever being disowned, is constantly in danger of being dismissed from the central place it must enjoy, by relatively peripheral insights that take on far too much weight. Whenever the periphery is in danger of displacing the center, we are not far removed from idolatry." ~D.A. Carson

Perhaps my favorite devotional from Spurgeon:

"He that watereth shall be watered also himself." --Proverbs 11:25

"We are here taught the great lesson, that to get, we must give; that to accumulate, we must scatter; that to make ourselves happy, we must make others happy; and that in order to become spiritually vigorous, we must seek the spiritual good of others. In watering others, we are ourselves watered. How? Our efforts to be useful, bring out our powers for usefulness. We have latent talents and dormant faculties, which are brought to light by exercise. Our strength for labour is hidden even from ourselves, until we venture forth to fight the Lord's battles, or to climb the mountains of difficulty. We do not know what tender sympathies we possess until we try to dry the widow's tears, and soothe the orphan's grief. We often find in attempting to teach others, that we gain instruction for ourselves. Oh, what gracious lessons some of us have learned at sick beds! We went to teach the Scriptures, we came away blushing that we knew so little of them. In our converse with poor saints, we are taught the way of God more perfectly for ourselves and get a deeper insight into divine truth. So that watering others makes us humble. We discover how much grace there is where we had not looked for it; and how much the poor saint may outstrip us in knowledge. Our own comfort is also increased by our working for others. We endeavour to cheer them, and the consolation gladdens our own heart."

Psalm 103

Derek Webb's song I Repent

"Your ecclesiology can't start with a denomination, but as churches [and Christians] try to do things together you're going to end up with something denominational-ish even if you don't call it a denomination." ~Al Mohler (Q & A session at the 2011 Expositors Conference)

U.S. Army (Commo/Signal Corps) since January 2011. Prior to that I was an Air Force Firefighter from 1992-1996.

I spent most of my time in that gap period operating a handyman business, school bus driving, working in housing construction and going to college (first to study cooking/restaurant management and then later to study education & literature) off and on.

In the immediate future I want to influence the Army chaplains to get back to the heart of the gospel and bridge the gap between the local community and the soldiers through ministry work. (It's a sad state right now. A dozen people showing up for Protestant service on Sunday is considered a big turnout.)

Marriage, adoption, and creating a holistic Christian education center for orphans and impoverished youth in order to raise them up equipped to be beacons of the Gospel light, transforming a dark region of the world into a lighthouse of hope.

On a more trivial note: recently I completed the Manchu Mile out here in Korea... a 25 mile march in combat boots and nearly 50 lbs. of gear. It only increased my appetite to participate in marathons, triathalons and other physical challenges that stretch my limits.

I was born in Southern California and grew up in Washington State. The military has taken me to South Dakota, Texas, Oklahoma, Illinois, Georgia, Wyoming, Honduras (I loved that assignment. It gave me the opportunity to work with some missionaries who were building a chicken ranch to provide a sustainable food source for a nearby orphanage) and now twice to South Korea.

I love my family but don't share their deeper understanding of the Gospel. I wouldn't mind at all if the military sends me back to Washington State or to Texas, near my brother's family. I'm open to stretching out into new territories and regions and figure on living out my life in some third world environment, Lord willing.

Why do so many reformed people pick a lifestyle that's reminiscent of early American (colonial) aristocracy? If we're going to pick a historical Chritian culture to resemble why not go with the pre-Constantine church that flourished in the first three centuries after Christ's work on earth by spreading the good news to society's rejects; the outcast and oppressed who held humble church meetings in catacombs and caves?