God in His Providence has ordained that I, at various and sundry times have played: a fat hula dancer, weeping widow, outstanding non-traditional student (it says so, right there hanging on the wall), a Mouse Queen, a Mother Abbess, homemade bread expert, amateur astronomer, potter, buxom irish wench, flutist, saxophonist, and mezzo soprano.

Some of those roles I have played in real life.

I live in central Texas, have four children, a purple bedroom and a stupidachshund named Uli. Some of the nicest things people have said about me: Cody Summerville: "Mrs. Esther! You have sunflowers in your eyes!" T.J. Jones: "Mom, you're like a cat's eye marble: round and beautiful!" Mike Morelli: "You're too nice!" (that was before I burnt a hole in the theater carpet, but I think he's over that now).

I love Christ and His true church from the perspective of Reformed Calvinism. I’m a TULIP-carrying, double-dyed, 5-pointer at this season of my life. I'm a literal six-day Creationist, and don't care who knows it.

I am 50-ish, love bright colors, chatting with friends, and sleeping in my hammock on my deck, which is the closest place to Heaven that I know here on earth.

I was raised in a godly Christian home of the Southern Baptist flavor and saved when I was six. Throughout my life I've taken the scenic route through backsliding, liturgical church, charismania, spiritual abuse and bullying and through God's gracious and merciful providence have been Reformed now for several years.

God has recently brought us to attend a small, start-up reformed church in our area. Even my teenage girls enjoy going where there is no bullying, no pretense, and serious teaching of the Word. I enjoy studying scripture and praying daily.

I am content, but it has not always been that way. The pain of being single again at first was dulled by the pain of the grief I suffered in losing my best earthly friend, and by the necessity of mothering 4 children without the help of their father. Later my pain became very difficult to bear even with the help of the Almighty God, and I went looking for some relief. I found help at Crosswalk.com in the Singles forum for many years. I made friends and talked at length about the struggles as well as the joys of being single. Recently, however, the atmosphere there changed for the worse, and God led me to know my time there was done.

I wasn't really interested in finding another place to "be single", until my pastor mentioned this site. It is difficult to find committed Reformed friends in the first place, much less the opportunity to interact with Reformed fellows who might be interested in finding out if God has something for the two of us to do together.

So, while I am content, and making plans to live the rest of my life single if God has so ordained, I am also desirous of having the opportunity to make friends and find a deeper relationship that might lead to marriage.

Survey says:

Earnest, vivacious, faithful, studious.

You heard it here first, folks!

Further research provides the following information:

My good qualities are evocative of the elegance of Angela Lansbury, and the intelligence of Rosalind Russell. A bit like Bilbo Baggins, I'm a homebody with a secret love of adventure, however I'm quite likely to leave without my handkerchief. Of famous movie persons, I am most like Lady Cluck in the animated Disney version of Robin Hood.

My best friend says that she has never met a person who is more objective about themselves than me; perhaps she's right, because I feel I must counter these flattering comments with some realities: I must confess to a tendency to be too Tiggerish, often knocking people down in my enthusiasm. Further, I am an extremely task-driven person and often forget to relate to people and have compassion on them in favor of getting the job done. I have a critical spirit, and have been described by some as intimidating (which is actually a great joke, for I'm nothing of the kind). I'm sure it's really much worse than this, so keep in mind that everyone has blind spots for their pet sins.

My very happy marriage ended in the sudden death of my husband. I have been single again for 12 years. We always encouraged each other to remarry should something happen to one of us.

Therefore I might mention that I have 18 years OJT being a good wife! That doesn't mean I was perfect: far from it. I have often had opportunity to reflect on what I would do differently should God grant that I would have another chance at the job.

"The Devil is the most discontented creature in the world. Therefore so much discontent as you have, so much of the spirit of Satan you have."

If the distance between you and a world-ward drifting group remains constant, you are not holding your ground. (Andree Seu)

My oldest daughter, concerning the death of her father: "Tragedy? Or an orchestrated dissonance in a beautiful piece of music?"


..."Happiness is excitement that has found a settling down place, but there is always a little corner that keeps flapping around."
(Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler)

"The cool thing about eating the assorted package of Jelly Belly Jelly Beans is you're sure to get a pleasant surprise no matter what!"
(Lacy Jones)

"We cannot defeat the legions of Mordor!"
"No, we cannot. But we will meet them in battle nonetheless!"
(Theoden, Return of the King)

"When you begin a note, it comes from somewhere and keeps going forever after you have finished. It comes from your impulse to sing, from your mind and heart, all the way back to the beginning of time.It goes into thin air, into walls, patient trees, open sky, molecules, heat, radiation, and on into vibrations there aren't names for. Part of it does, anyway. The rest of it goes into the hearts and minds of others. Nothing is lost."
W.A. Mathieu, The Listening Book

"Nobody ever said Courtship was easier...just that it was better: like eating lima beans or spinach or something."
(Me)

From one of my favorite blog's meta: Frank: "...repent of thinking God isn't really great enough to be in authority over evil without being the author of evil."

Amen Frank! God in His sovereignty and His indescribable power and His inscrutable wisdom causes evil to serve His purposes because omnipotence and omniscience has no lack of servants – not even evil can thwart or frustrate the plans of God but must at His bidding accomplish the same – and that without even being able to touch one iota of the immutable holiness of God. So then God is able to cause evil to cause good without causing the evil itself!"

Dear brethren and sisters, never give up the grand old truths of the gospel. Let no excitement, even though it be the whirlwind of a revival, ever sweep you off your feet concerning the great doctrines of the cross. If God does not save men by truth he certainly will not save them by lies, and if the old gospel is not competent to work a revival, then we will do without the revival; we will keep to the old truth, anyhow, come what may! Our flag is nailed to the mast.(Charles Spurgeon)

My oldest daughter, whom I quoted (and often do; she has a way with words) married and moved to Kentucky almost 2 years ago. She met her husband online at the narniaweb.com forums. She is a wonderful listener, steady as a rock, and one of my best friends.

My son is 24, and he married last summer after graduating from college. He currently hopes to make a career of security or police work, but has discovered that his eyesight disqualifies him from many of those jobs. So he is working in the oilfield until he can afford Lasix surgery. He and his wife found themselves expectant parents soon after their wedding, and God willing will present me with my first grandbaby in May--a girl. He's going to be a wonderful father!

My middle daughter is 18, and should graduate from home school in May. She dances (ballet) at the same school where I teach music, works at Subway to pay her bills, and does plan on going to college, though she isn't sure what direction to take yet. She's bright, witty, lovely, has a great voice and an incredible knack for getting to the meat of a matter (read: brutally honest).

My youngest daughter turned 13 last summer. She loves her music studies in voice and piano, is sweet, loving, and like Anne of Green Gables, enjoys living in her imaginary worlds.

Relocating: possible. My parents are aging and will need me soon. I love, love, love this house that the Lord has provided: but it's just a thing, and He will make me able to give it up if necessary. I can teach music anywhere.