I can see now I am gonna have to "up the ante" here. You see, I am looking for a female to buy things for. I wish to shower a woman with an unspecified amount of material objects. Is it you? (Not if you're not a female, and if you are a guy quit looking at my profile and stealing my ideas) You can be sure a large amount of material objects will certainly exchange hands. Do you like cubic zirconia? And with me you can always super size.

Oh, while you're here. I wanted to ask you: If you were a fish what kind of fish would you be? And why?

I'm gonna answer my own question till someone else does. I would be a Chimaera Monstrosa. I know what you are thinking, "he just picked the most bizarre fish he could, How trite." (I love the word trite, its never trite) But you are wrong. An angler fish is more bizarre. Well, maybe. But if i were a Chimaera Monstrosa i would have a really kool name. And i would hang around beaches and terrify small children. After which i would leave with due haste. (terrified children make the water yellow)

OK, since you wont answer that one, how about this. If you had to choose to either go blind, go deaf or lose the ability to walk, which would you choose? And why?

My answer is deafness. It is the least handicapped. In terms of conversations it can be overcome. I think most people would agree with me except for musicians... die-hard fanatic musicians. You would no longer hear the beauty of music. Although you cant really compare beauty seen to beauty heard. Picture, if you will, a lush valley, a river winds its way down the valley pouring over a cliff with overhanging branches forming a waterfall that spills into a blue lake, while the mist rises up you can see a rainbow formed above the lake... in complete silence. VS. An orchestra perfoming in complete darkness. Although this brings up another point, how well can sounds be described with words vs. visuals. But then again what if the person was always blind. How does their mind see things? How do we look in a blind man's mind? Do we all look the same in the dark? Do the blind dream in color? What if I add another question to the first. What if you could lose the sensation of feeling instead of the first 3 choices? No warm, no cold, no pain, no ease. Just numb. It is good and bad. Or is it? While I'm on the subject of feeling, if you could never have mental pain or anguish again but never fall in love, would it be worth it?

One last question. A train leaves toledo traveling at 43.5 mph it is heading to Cleveland and has 2 .25 hr stops. It is carrying 300 passengers and 1200.45 tons of freight and must travel at an average of 30 mph when going up 12 inclines totaling a distance of 4000 meters. But when going down the inclines the train will be traveling 30 km/hr for a total distance of 3000 meters. If the passengers eat a dinner of roast chicken and dumpling what is the approximate braking distance of the train when it arrives at the station? HINT: The dumplings have gravy.

Whoa my eyes don look like they line up in that picture but they do. I was looking at the screen to the right.

Glory be. There are so many interests, like, in my savings account. But first i must tell you a story that may well chill you to the bone! I know what you are thinking... "A story? What a waste of time." And you are right. So skip past it. You were going to just skim my profile anyway. Then you begin to see how long it is and exhale in disgust.

This is the story of my battle with a Common North American Banded Blood-drinker Monkey. Also known as a "Bandit monkey". Some ignorant people just call them raccoons. They have opposable thumbs. Do you know what that means? They can wield a gun! It adds a whole other level of danger when an animal can pull a gun on you. I was relaxing at my parents house when suddenly i heard some unearthly noise outside. So i grab my gun and go outside to inspect it. Having no light I had to inspect the area by the light of the moon. When coming around the garage i suddenly saw it. A horrifying and menacing creature. I dont think it was just a bandit monkey, i think it was half bear. Like some twisted, evil scientific experiment. Or maybe a were-bear! Like it was bitten by a bear once and now by the light of a full moon it turns into a half-bear, half bandit monkey creature. Anyway it reared its ugly head letting out a blood-curdling screech/roar. Its gaping maw revealing its blood stained teeth. Under foot it had the remains of one of my dads dogs. It immediately went into a charge. I cycled the reciever of my M60 and squeezed the trigger. The creature would not stop. It was lit by the muzzle flash of my gun (it was like a strobe light). The bullets tore its hulking mass but its jaw only opened wider spraying bloody saliva. I knew, as its charge didnt slow, that this creature had tasted human flesh and was now consumed with the hunger. I began to fall back as i burned through my ammo belt. My back was now against a tree and my ammo was low. It was mere feet away. Calling upon an inner strength not seen on earth in ages i shot up the tree like a jet squirrel. The creature roared and swiped at the tree. The whole tree shook. This was beginning to be much like my battle against the cattle. He repeatedly clawed at the tree sending splinters flying fro and to. Soon he would topple the tree and then it would be over. I had to formulate a plan. Then it hit me.... A bird. What, are they blind at night? I had a plan too. I climbed higher up into the branches as the tree swayed and creaked. It was all according to plan. I began to sway back and forth, high in the branches. Finally i could hear the base of the tree crack as the creature continued to claw. I then jumped down, landing behind the abomination. It turned to attack. I ran. He was mere inches away when he lunged. Keepin him in sight i dodged to the left,deftly. This would only be a second delay... or so he thought. When suddenly the tree came crashing down upon him, crushing his massive body. He then growled till the wounds bled out. I remained there until daylight. Little did i know this was only the beginning. As the black helicopters rose over the horizon.

Other interests include: Twinkies. Pizza. Cola. Cookies. Reading (I'm not big on fiction, although i do read it sometimes, i read a lot of different stuff though.) Movies. Oh i like going places and doing things that are fun from time to time. I like board games. I like shooting... anything that moves. Im kidding i usually shoot stationary targets. Lessee where was I? I love music. I like metal I also like oldies, classical, blues, jazz, and some alternative. I hate rap (which isnt music anyway), country and pop (which includes christian pop... audio anguish). I can stand people who listen to any music though. I also am interested in parentheses, commas, and run on sentences, but you already knew that. I love martial arts movies. I have over 2 hundred of them. I spend a total of about 3 hours a week working out, mainly lifting weights... I dont really like it. I just like being in shape. One of my disinterests is watching TV, i dont do it, I especially hate watching sports on TV. I can enjoy going to see sports though. I do enjoy movies and DVDs. I am a down to earth guy, I know what you are thinking "that means he's poor" but you are wrong. I am rich. Rich and famous. I mean rich in personality of course. If you are wondering why you dont recognize me while i am famous it is becuase I am more infamous than famous i guess. I don't like false advertising, so: I am a guy who jokes around a lot (and I meet a lot of Christian girls who do not like Christian guys who have an active sense of humor, thus our conversations are short one-shots.), I tend to be rather introverted when I'm around those I don't know well, I have a big, goofy, buck toothed smile, and a large misshapen head.

I actually have tons of interests. I read on lots of different subjects and i really like nerdy things. A lot of reformed people do though. We are into history, and war! (the men are), and board games (war board games!). Like, last year, when I read a book on Cryptozoology, one on Unsolved mysteries of the Sea, and one on Mad Science experiments (real ones, like when they attached a puppies head to another dogs body and it lived for 6 days! Gripping! Positively gripping!). To name a few.

Much of this profile will be under works. This is like writing my biography. Great granny Gertrude, is there a box for my preferred underwear brand?

At first it made me want to start fights with evangelicals. But in the long term it is the only proper way to understand our relationship towards God and Christs relationship toward us. It has made me humble and gives me peace to know that God is in fact "GOD". And we have nothing. Which goes along with my favorite bible verse which i could have sworn had a box but now i cant find it, so im gonna plug it here: Whom have I in heaven but You?And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. Psalm 73:25. This verse says 2 very powerful things. 1. We are the enemies of heaven, not to mention the targets of hell and the curse of the earth. Christ is all we have anywhere. (I know its old testament) Christ is the reason that we are not enemies of God any longer. 2. God is all we need and all we should desire, which is the struggle for us who are so naturally idolatrous.

Yea verily. I am currently reading John Owens "mortification of sin" which is very easy to read (well its a abridged so it better be) and is very powerful and convicting.

I listen to a lot of Sproul too.

Biblically I am reading a lot in the new Testament. Luke right now.

Now I am on Ecclesiastes, but I go back to it a lot. Its my favorite book of the Bible.

Thats a tough one. When i was a kid it was Joseph. Because God used his brothers evil for good. He was a dedicated man of God and forgave his brothers.

Now id have to say Paul even though it sounds totally trite. When God did a work in him his change was radical and he became the most influential, self sacrificing, and dedicated leader of the early church.

Also Peter. Because he was all fired up and didn't question his faith. Yet he didn't see the sin in himself and God showed it to him the day Christ died. He did not continue down that path though and returned to following Christ. I think Peter is a character we can see in all of us. So often we deny that the hard times will affect us or we just think we are stronger than we are. His strength is made perfect in our weakness, THAT is something you must be reformed to truly understand.

I guess. Its not really likable. But let God's will be done.

Sometimes its a cake walk. I feel totally unaffected. Tough as nails. How bad is it being single? It could be far worse. Where is my punching bag? While other times I start singing Sinead O'Connors "Nothing Compares 2 You" and then i feel like i will break like glass.

Funny. Honest. Passionate/argumentative. Creative.

Gods Grace, Gods Mercy, and his Son... Thats what everyone puts down though, Ill put down 3 more...

Good food, A warm Bed, and all our freedoms.

I enjoy those who have good senses of humor, common sense, a reasonable level of intelligence, and down to earth (no "Little Miss Priss"). I apologize for my crassness (... is that a word? I think it is.) I know online you cannot hear my tone and it may be tough to tell when i am joking. To be honest i like shocking online people by making them think I am meaner than i am.

Overall there are a lot of personality traits that one should seek in another person which you can find in the word of God as well as what one prefers personally. Yet from my experience the one trait that seems to stick out the most and lets you know above all else "this gal's a keeper" is when you have a gal who is loved by her rich ailing relatives. Thats the only way to be sure. Thats how i would know that its a woman i could love. If you happen to fit this definition i would even be willing to waive the one time non-refundable application fee of 100 dollars in order to fill the position of "wife". (The position of wife is standing... in front of the stove. HA again!)

"Isolation reveals true motivation"

"Deo Vindice"

"Let them hate, as long as they fear" (foreign policy in a nutshell)

"In the end we all define ourselves, by looking back at someone else"

I'm a fan of John Adams-

"We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other."

"But a Constitution of Government once changed from Freedom, can never be restored. Liberty, once lost, is lost forever."

"Democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts and murders itself. There was never a democracy that did not commit suicide."

Because power corrupts, society's demands for moral authority and character increase as the importance of the position increases.

The right of a nation to kill a tyrant in case of necessity can no more be doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.....

More to come. (not a quote... well i guess it has been used before)

Yes... wait a minute, how many people dislike liesure time? If you don't enjoy it then i want to know what you do for work.

I plot things.

Chicago. Where the streets have no name.

I have mainly traveled around the midwest.